Today’s guest blog is written by a close friend I’ve known since high school and we were counseling colleagues in Portland, Oregon for years. Recently she invited me to share about fathers and daughters on her platform, and this piece flows from our conversation. I’m grateful for her willingness to share her vulnerable story here.

~ Michelle

If there’s one thing I could say to you dads today, it would be this: There is power in a father’s words and actions to create a lasting legacy of compassion and emotional connection with your daughters.

This is actually quite personal for me, and I’m honored to share it with you here.

I have so many images in my mind of men who have done this kind of thoughtful, connected, intentional fathering well. 

Yet I want to focus today on one specific outstanding dad. I want to honor my brother John, who passed away four years ago in a car accident. His kids were 17 and 19 at the time. He was an amazing dad — he loved their hearts, pursued them, took them on dates, wrapped his arms around them. He was empathetic.

I was just talking to his daughter last night, and she said, “I’ve been reading through my notes from Dad. You know, he was so good at that. He gave me so many notes.”

I thought, Really?! I was in awe. But not surprised. Because that’s so like my brother.

It’s clear that the simplest acts of love and affirmation can leave a profound legacy, especially when they come from a dad.

Here’s how my niece Natalie said it to me:

The best way to describe what kind of dad he was is to say that he knew how to make me feel special and seen. He knew me so well that he just knew exactly what I needed from him to feel loved. Sometimes it was a special note or a little gift. Other times it was just taking the time to ask me about my day or watching a silly, girly movie with me that he would pretend to like and be interested in just because he knew it was special to me. 

You can hear how Natalie’s heartfelt recollections underscore how a father’s words and actions are not only vital in the present, but can echo throughout the entirety of their daughter’s lives, providing comfort and confidence even in their absence. 

My own brother’s legacy of handwritten notes serves as a poignant reminder that love expressed in tangible ways can nurture and sustain a daughter’s spirit…forever.

So, take a moment today to write a note, share an encouraging word, and embrace the opportunity to leave a legacy of love and compassion for your daughter. She’ll treasure it always.

Your presence, love, and willingness to understand and support her unconditionally will leave an indelible mark — an enduring legacy — that will resonate in her heart long after she’s grown.

Fathers, by choosing to be intentional and compassionate in your interactions, you can create lasting bonds that transcend time. 

[If you’d like to learn more about Sabrina and her work, you can find her at CoreValuesCounseling.com]