Free Resources

I'd love to share a few resources with you that I use for Abba Project dads. These will get you started in the right direction, being more intentional with your daughters. Just click the icon below to download for free.

How To Talk to Your Daughter About Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity

Dad, have you ever felt overwhelmed at the complexity of talking with your daughter about these topics listed above or have you avoided them altogether and trusted others to “go there” with her? I’m here to help you step into this conversation by giving you a script and some key talking points to increase your confidence as you open up meaningful conversations with your daughter in ways that BUILD BRIDGES between you rather than potentially tearing you apart.

Now is the time to build your competence and confidence as you invest in your daughter’s life by interacting with her about these themes, leading with bold intention and courageous pursuit with a foundation of honor, love, and respect.

How to Talk to Your Daughter…

Questions For Your Dad-Daughter Date

Five Power Strategies a Dad Can Use to Lead His Daughter

Here is a brief overview from my most recent book, Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters where I’m giving you five power strategies that you can use to lead your daughter to LAUGH, LOVE, LOOK, LAMENT and LISTEN. These questions work great with moms and dads alike so let’s get the dialogues started!

Five Power Strategies

if your father was like this…

Our relationship with our Heavenly Father is often a direct reflection of our relationship with our earthly father. This is a great resource to help you identify some of the ways you interact with God based on your relationship with your dad.

If Your Father Was Like This…

the dialed-in dad checklist

This 60-item list provides you as a dad with an organized way to evaluate yourself when it comes to seeing how you dial in to your daughter’s life. This thorough self-evaluation tool is one that can be used to support you in your goal to proactively invest in pursuing her heart.

The Dialed-In Dad Checklist

10 Do’s and Don’t’s Checklist

There’s nothing worse than being in a heated disagreement where you and your daughter are escalating and neither of you are in control. I know you want to be a dad who leads by example and who models healthy interpersonal skills to your daughter. To support that goal, here are 10 Do’s and Don’t’s for Navigating Conflict so you can turn the fight to right by leading with love. It’s the best way to diffuse a disagreement...every single time.

10 Do’s And Don’t’s

Dad-to-Daughter FIRST Date Questionnaire

This is the perfect handout to take with you on one of your first dad-daughter dates and will be a great launching pad for guiding the conversation. You'll start by asking about her life in the present, then moving on to questions about the past and future. Remember, the goal is to draw her out, let her talk, actively listen and have FUN together!

Dad/Daughter Date Questionnaire

Daughter-to-Dad Date Questionnaire

Most daughters love hearing stories from their good ol' dad. If your daughter would prefer that you be on the "hot seat" by disclosing things about yourself before she's ready to open up with you, here's a list of questions to get her started. Sometimes you have to be the one to model vulnerability before she's ready to talk. The goal is to help her understand what you were like at her age. Make this extra fun by putting on your best "story-telling hat"!

Daughter to Dad Questions

Dad-To-Daughter QUESTIONS on DATING

Daughters and dating is a scary combination! Do you know the tools your daughter needs to help her engage in a healthy dating life? This worksheet will help you navigate this tricky venture.

Dating & Development

If you feel that deeper dialogue on the concept of dating is in order, feel free to copy this off and lead the way with her!

Dad to Daughter Questions on Dating

DAD, HERE ARE YOUR LINES

Most men would agree that they do well at reading the lines when it comes to relationships but struggle to keep up with the women in their lives who constantly seem to be reading between the lines. In an effort to support dads everywhere who want to get it right in order to be loving and supportive, I've written a coding chart to help translate for you the way we daughters internalize and interpret our dad's words.

Dad, Here are Your Lines

the F.A.t.h.e.r. formula

If you want a clear cut path to engaging your daughter’s heart, look no further. Any dad can put this single page formula into action today!

The F.A.T.H.E.R. Formula

20 things your daughter really longs for

Dads often tell me that the process of figuring out what their daughters really need from them can be overwhelming. In seeking to answer that question, here are 20 THINGS YOUR DAUGHTER REALLY LONGS FOR...because it will make a world of difference in her life as you, Dad, meet her at the point of her deepest longings.

20 Things Your Daughter Really Longs For

Speak Up

This worksheet is probably the first thing I recommend any dad to read. In it, we learn some of the dynamics at work in the dad/daughter relationship which may be leading you to be silent when you should speak up. This includes specific "Do's" and "Don'ts" regarding what should be said and what might not be so helpful.

To Speak Or Not To Speak

DAD-TO-DAUGHTER SELF-ESTEEM QUESTIONS

Most every girl struggles in some way, shape, or form with how she sees herself. Often her internal dialogue is self-critical and negative, leading her to see her flaws more than her strengths. When a girl's self esteem is low she tends to view the world through that negative lens. If you as a dad want to open up a conversation with your daughter to help her talk through this issue with you, I encourage you to use this handout as a guide.

Dad-to-Daughter Self-Esteem Questions

Equipping You to Have the Sex Talk with Your Daughter

Your daughter is being bombarded with sexual messages everywhere she turns. And Dad, if you don’t address this issue of sex with her, then she’ll learn about it everywhere else. Because I understand that this is a challenging topic to talk about, here is a guide to equip you to lead the conversation with her.

Equipping You to Have the Sex Talk with Your Daughter

WHAT TO SAY (AND NOT SAY) TO YOUR DAUGHTER

This double list is one you can bring up on your phone or print out and keep handy as a guide to help you evaluate how you're doing with the things you say to your daughter. Since the words you speak are key to the view she carries about herself throughout her whole life, it is vital that you communicate affirmative and life-giving things to her rather than things that will harm or hamper her development. Here's a list of things that will help you accomplish your goal of speaking to her heart.

What to Say (and Not Say) to Your Daughter

writing a letter to your daughter

In our age of technology, when you take the time to write a hand-written letter to your daughter, it will stand out from the rest. Here is a template for ideas to include in your letter, ranging from highlighting the meaning of her name to telling her what it was like when you first laid eyes on her after she was born.

Writing a Letter to Your Daughter

HOW TO LEAD YOUR DAUGHTER SPIRITUALLY

I understand that spiritual leadership by a father to his daughter (and sons) is a daunting task, to say the least. I have sought, as a daughter and as one who hears from a lot of women about what they want and need from their dads, to put together a list of things that I believe will have positive impact if you want to step it up and initiate dialogue and action with regards to spiritual things. Here is my "Bakers Dozen for Dads to Spiritually Lead Their Daughters."

The Baker's Dozen for Dads to Spiritually Lead Their Daughters

DAD-TO-DAUGHTER QUESTIONS ON SPIRITUAL THEMES

Do you ever struggle to open up a conversation with your daughter about spiritual themes, either because you’re on different pages or it ends in a hostile debate where the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye? Perhaps this questionnaire will help. Here are 12 questions designed to help you learn about how your daughter's doing spiritually without forcing her to agree with you or respond defensively. This is all about being curious and keeping the conversation moving as you learn about where she is at with God and spiritual topics.

Dad to Daughter Questions on Spiritual Themes

ABBA FATHER LETTER: MY TREASURED CHILD

Dad, I wrote this letter based on the truths of the Bible that capture the heart of God as a Father to us as His children. I encourage you to read this letter out loud to your daughter (even if it’s uncomfortable), leading her to embrace God’s loving truth while you, her dad, give voice to HIS heart of love for her. I trust you'll find this helpful in leading your daughter spiritually.

Abba Father Letter: My Treasured Child

25 things my dad taught me that have carried me 25 years without him

If any dad ever doubts that the little things he does will have a big and lasting impact, this list by Brooke Perry Espinosa will help you see otherwise.

25 Things by Brooke Perry

FIVE POWERFUL STRATEGIES GRANDPARENTS CAN USE TO LEAD THEIR GRANDKIDS IN DEEPER CONVERSATIONS

This handout is the same as the “Five Power Strategies” for dads of daughters and is adapted with wording for grandparents to intentionally lead conversations with their grandkids.

Five Powerful Strategies

INITIATING LIFE-CHANGING CONVERSATIONS WITH YOUR KIDS AND GRANDKIDS ABOUT RELATIONAL WOUNDS

If you’re a grandparent who has a desire to connect more with your grandkids, but have relational wounds with your adult children that create challenges within your family, here is a list of questions to guide you to open the conversation, listen well, and hopefully make amends so that healing can happen.

Initiating Life-Changing Conversations

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Great PODCASTS

The Dad Whisperer Podcast by Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield

DadAWESOME by Jeff Zaugg

Men in the Arena by Jim Ramos

Being Known by Dr. Curt Thompson

Living Wholehearted by Terra and Jeff Mattson

The Intentional Parents Podcast by Phil and Diane Comer/Brook and Elizabeth Mosser

Restoring the Soul by Michael John Cusick

contact Michelle