What I Learned about FOMO From the Razorbacks

You’ll never believe this…but I actually just attended my first ever live college football game!

Now that I live in Fayetteville, Arkansas near the U of A, it’s an understatement to say this is Razorback country. Everywhere you turn, there’s a hog squealing or oinking! But just between you and me, I don't think I’ll ever get to the place where I join in the “whoo pig sooie” chant that everyone here seems to love. 😂

The reason I finally ended up in the stands cheering on our local team is that some of our out-of-state family came to visit and we made it a family affair. It just so happened to be Arkansas (unranked) vs. Tennessee (#4) that night and it was even nationally televised.

The odds were clearly stacked against the struggling Razorbacks, yet during this particular game, they met their opponents head on and were holding a strong defense. By the start of the 4th quarter though, most of us figured we knew how the game would end. So when we got a text that the babysitters for the littles back home were getting tired, Ken (Granddad) and I (Mishy) offered to leave the game and let the others stay.

Well, wouldn’t you know it, but it turned out to be the GAME OF THE CENTURY! 

In the final minutes of the game, the Razorbacks trounced the Volunteers 19 to 14, ending their six-game winning streak. Arkansas hadn’t won like that since 2007…and it was a HUGE upset, to say the least.

When the tribe came home, they enthusiastically told stories about the game-winning touchdown with fans storming the field to tear down the goal post. As I heard about the phenomenal unexpected ending to the game, something unexpected happened in me. 

When I realized I missed being a part of that once-in-a-lifetime experience with our family, I immediately started experiencing FOMO---Fear Of Missing Out.

I asked myself: Why do I care so much about a game I don’t really care about with players I don’t even know?

To make matters worse, the next day I still kept thinking about it.

I wondered what was wrong with me because I kept wishing I hadn’t left the game when I did. Yet as ridiculous as it was, I was stuck on it more than I’d like to admit. 

Have you ever had that happen where you fixate on something when it goes differently than you’d hoped or planned? [or is that just me?!]

Yet here’s what I know to be true: The only way to get rid of a negative thought is to replace it with a different thought. That’s how our brains work. We can’t stop thinking about something unless we have something more potent, impactful, or meaningful to focus on.

Are you ready to hear how I traded in my negative thought for a new and better thought that immediately unlocked my silly rumination?

Here’s the thought that popped into my head:

What if rather than living with a Fear Of Missing OUT, I lived with a Fear Of Missing IN?

This was a very new thought for me. Let me say it another way: 

What if I had FOM-I rather than FOM-O?

In other words, what if I focused more on leaning IN to investing in the people I love rather than being afraid of missing OUT on things that matter less to me in the long run?

When I realized I cared more about serving our kids and being with our grandkids than cheering on a football team to whom I have no attachment, everything flipped on it’s head. I honestly haven’t given this another thought since.

So here’s my question for you, Dad: 

What would it take for you to be more focused on the cost of not being IN relationship with your daughter than missing OUT on doing everything else you want to do?

Let’s be people who pursue being IN relationships that matter, where eternal value and legacy lead the decisions we make about where we spend our time, money and energy. 

Practical action step: Do one thing today to let your daughter know you’re all IN as her encourager, supporter, protector and provider. 

Together, let’s be fixated on FOM-I rather than FOM-O! 

Are you IN?


[If you find yourself fixating on the past more than you’d like, where you struggle to move forward, here’s a reminder that I’m available for coaching---for both men and women. It’s my honor to connect with those who invite me into their process as I bring my 30 years of clinical skills and experience into this work. Feel free to reach out to set up an appointment by emailing me at drmichelle@thedadwhisperer.com].